Thursday, 25 November 2010

Take a Deep Breath

Since my last post, I've found it very difficult to gather my thoughts together well enough to write again. Things move so fast. Both of my brothers moved away to university (two different sides of the country), dad has decided to sell up AGAIN and move back to Camberley and I moved back in with them.

It's a lot to deal with; with an added work load, feuding parents, a house move, feuding relatives, a sick old grandmother, an eight year old who doesn't know if she's coming or going... Not to mention a dog and the financial constraints of having three of us at uni.

My mind tells me to relax. It's all under control. I meditate 'Har Har Har Har Har Har Hari' 'Tuhi Tuhi Tuhi Tuhi Tuhi'. I go to Maharaaj and feel comforted. I feel better. I think I do.

My body on the other hand, just won't have it. I'm told stress is the cause of a variety of health problems which creep on me.

It used to be, when I was stressed, the world would cave in and anger would take over. Krodh was my biggest enemy. Now, it seems the mind has retreated into it's own world and the body doesn't have the strength to withstand. It's ever so slowly... crashing. The more I try to ignore it, the worse it gets. The more I try to fight it, the worse it gets.

I know that none of this matters. Illussion. It's not real. But my body just won't listen. how do I control my body? I do everything right. I exercise, eat right, get my vitamins, drink my water.

Which brings us to the question of Karma. Whatever is happening is within Hukm (The Will). There are still some things we just can't control. So we can only accept it, and go with it...

naanak aanae aavai raas
O Nanak, as is The Will, things are made right.
Guru Nanak Dev Ji Siree Raag 25